The Globe and Mail

When I buy my first house later this year, they'll appear. Perched on one shoulder, dressed in white and bearing a striking resemblance to Bauhaus master Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, the first figure will give me an icy earful: "You must keep the architect's vision pure. No tchotchkes, no overstuffed furniture, and outside, no coach lamps, no insensitive alterations to your mid-century classic, and definitely no lawn ornaments!"